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BGKs will not "get used to" flakes. They don't consider them to be food, so they are not going to eat them. It's like someone only offering you bales of hay to eat and expecting you to "get used to" them.

They aren't stubborn, they are just mentally incapable of considering flakes and other processed foods to be edible.

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I'm not your neighbor, you Bakersfield trash.

mine was eating flakes and sinking pellets lastnight

It doesn't sound like you have done much of any research before buying your pet...for the sake of the fish, I hope you listen to the advice above, it was good. And be sure to have an appropiate sized home for him, I must assume you are keeping him in a ten gallon or something equally dumb as you haven't posted the tank size after being asked to several times.

55 Gallon Aquarium
10 Gallon Poison Dart Frog Viv
(Soon) 30 Gallon Hex Paludarium

i did quite a bit of research on them, i just didnt know how they acted, which was for the most part most of my questions.

so what size tank do you have this guy in? I have always wanted one. but I have never had the time or the money to dedicate to this species. WHAT SIZE TANK?????

72 gallon bowfront:Tanganyikan Lake set up
75 gallon: A. Baenschi trio,Cyanotilapia Afra Cobwe(4), copadichromis trewavase, protomelas sp. tangerine tiger(breeding pair)

i had a bgk mine died from a cobination of a mean angel fish and a mean loach lol (no longer in the tank lol) i had mine in a 55 gallon tank. he would comeout sometimes during the day but just for a quick swim or to eat then back in the cave he would go. i also noticed that mine would lay still on his back or side and not move i would think she was dead but not . it just seems thats how they like to rest. i found with mine his fav foods were tubifex worms and sometime called gammarus he would go nuts over them and even scare off the other fish to get them so there might be another idea for you to feed you fish.