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Let me start by saying there are things you dont want to hear from your co-workers. Hubby bought me a pair a beautiful diamond earrings, slightly on the expensive side as a gift for my birthday and valentine's day. He is a true romantic and completely dotes on me.

Obviously, I wore those to work on Monday and got loads of compliments from everybody except for a coworker who complained that her husband doesnt even notice her.

She has a job, has a child, has left her parents who live in Malaysia, has settled down in India (she is Indian), has nobody to help her, hubby brings home uninvited guests and she accommodates them. She prefers to party into the wee hours of the night with her husband and less than a year old child so her husband can have a night out of drinking and he then drives the wife and young child back home.

I have nothing against children whose parents work, hubby and I both have very successful careers but we prefer to spend our money on investments, stay home on weekends and talk to each other and dont have children yet because we believe we dont have the time to devote to them and want to have them with careful planning. We have a good social life and go out occassionally on weekends with close friends and dont drink and drive.

A. I feel like I am old woman who is boring because hubby and I spend most of our weekends together at home.
B. I wouldnt take a child out with me partying all night even if I wanted to go out.
C. I dont think you are competent to drive after a couple of drinks, so forget about a night out of drinking. Between the two of us, one person is always the designated driver and it was hubby's turn on new year's eve which he had no problems with. I got chided for "doing this" to my husband and was promptly told that some people can drive perfectly well even after drinking gallons and her husband is one of them.
D. The coworker told me "I wish my husband could meet you so he would know what he has", because my husband bought me a pair of diamond earrings.

I am a little put off and offended by this, but I really dont know what to make of it. Obviously, wearing good jewellery at work is putting people off.

Or I am paranoid

I'd like to hear of interesting conversations people have had at the office that have put them off completely.

their just jelious that they arent getting it for them. and thats life, everybody leads it their own way.

heres one, yrs back, i worked in an office and i was the only guy there and one day all, and i mean all of the women (10 of them). decided to start sharing their sex lives with each other.. i was sooo extremely uncomfortable

Fish tanks are an expensive addiction

Aren't there drink driving laws in India? You learn something new every day!

I am so with you on that one!

Actually, I'm really with you on all of them. We tend to spend most of our weekends together at home too, sometimes visiting friends, but our ideal weekend involves good food and a few beanbags!

I'm sure your husband has far more self-esteem than to let you do anything to him that he didn't want! Not all men are boys, some of them can make rational decisions all by themselves You could hardly force him not to drink (unless you are secretly a wrestler or something ).

And as for her wanting to use you as a bad example,um, yeah. That ain't gunna fly. If it did I wouldn't want to be with the man that thought it!!

She sounds sad to me. A little frightening, but all those things just scream sad and lonely and trying really hard to be noticed. I'd still have pulled her up on some of the things she said, but I think she's just lost and confused as to how you manage to have what you have with what seems like less effort.


And *cough* piccie of your sparklies please!

For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks. - Terry Pratchett

Yep, sounds like jealousy to me. Blow her off.....avoid her like the plague.

I work in a municipal office in a border town. We are 5 miles from the Texas/Mexico border, so, most (nearly all) of my co-workers are Hispanic. No problem there, other than the fact that I'm "white" or "Anglo" and some of my "less sensitive" co-workers make derogatory comments about my being a "white girl" or "huera" as they call it.....which is a racially derogatory term for a white girl. It REALLY bothers me because I'm not racist and I never dreamed that I would experience racism and prejudice against me. I am a minority down here and it is unreal to me that, for all the yelling other "minorites" have done about racism and predjudice, how quickly the tables can turn when they attain majority status. It's a real eye opener about the true nature of racism, IMO.

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~~Melissa~~
"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."

Pure jealousy!

I work with all men (including one of my brothers) at my morning job so fortunately I never have to deal with cattiness (is that a word?). On Thursdays after their work week is over we usually get together to hang out and have a couple of beers. Fortunately they normally treat me like one of the guys. We all tease each other about stuff that happened during the week. Even though I am usually in the office and dont see the guys, there have been times that I get the brunt if it because an employee of a sub-contractor has seen me on a job site and taken a shine to me. One even started showing up at our gatherings and would follow me around like a lost puppy.

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I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
~ Mae West

Agreed, depending on how long she's been in India away from her family she may be having some bits of regret for all that she had to leave behind and the lashing out about the jewlery could just be part of it *shrug*.

I dunno if I'd be game enough to wear jewlery to work....especially since I usually spend the first few hours of work in my PJ's these days ahhh the joy of working from home .

She brings to mind the premise of the movie Idiocracy. All the spiteful, less intelligent people are raising kids (inproperly at that ) while the educated better suited to raising kids people are waiting, sometimes till it's too late . I hope that kid ends up with some good influances in it's life .

^_^

You are paranoid about the jewelery. If you have nice things and they make you feel good, wear it. That's why you have it. You are not showing it off purposely to make her jealous.

It's too bad, that she is a situation that makes her uncomfortable enough to mention something like that to you. If she starts talking about it again, just simply smile and nod, or excuse yourself and walk away. (I don't know this person, that may not be easy, but you are at work afterall...)

And I agree with Calla... where are the pictures of the earrings??

edit: (Happy belated birthday/valentine's day by the way)

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"it's the neck, it creaks under the weight of too much heavy thinking."

Uh, I am glad I ranted off, I feel so much better now! Yes we have laws about drinking and driving, but like most developing countries, Indian laws are not implemented stringently enough and traffic rules are really the least of our concern. One recent accident had a drunk driver run over 6 homeless people sleeping on the pavement. He had a licence that he obtained when he was 13 by bribing some police officials. Obviously, it wasnt a valid licence. There was a big hoo haa about it for a few days and then the incident was forgotten

Crazy Red: I agree about the racism. It reminds me of the movie Crash... You would think that in a country full of brown people, nobody would be racist, but we have a north south divide too with most north indians on the wheatish side and south indians with darker skin tones. Trust me, if south indians complain they face trouble in the north, then it wasnt much easier for me to live in the south all by myself

I am posting a piccie of the beauties first thing I get home from work today evening and yes I am very pleased with them

Misery loves company. My life pretty much revovles around my wife and son. In my opinion if someone is not happy in there relationship then it is there responsability to do something about it and if they don't, it is there fault. It is better to be alone for the right reason than to be with someone for the wrong reason.

Wow, clowny, I guess that just proves that no where on this green Earth is free from racism....that's terrible.

I'm glad you feel better about the situation. Most unhappy people are more than ready to take it out on their happier counterparts....seems to make them feel better. Walk away from Ms. Misery whenever she gets started, it will shut her down.

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~~Melissa~~
"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."

You might find this weird, but for me the better part of being at work is when people start to become human again.When they start to discuss their problems its incredibly informative about how they were raised, what their belief systems are, and what kind of people they are. I always find professional detachment very dehumanising, and if like me in the past you have worked some long hours in stressful conditions I like it when peoples edges start to show. I like to know the lay of the land. Being a confirmed and stalwart git of high ranking , peoples personal opinions never faze me and Ive been an agony aunt to many. Maybe I can be a little manipulative, btu I often find that such conversations are in many cases , cries for help. People like to vent their views, they like to put context into their existences and that is altogether a good thing. I especially like it when people who should seemingly be at odds break new ground and I especially love it when people give unabashed opinions contrary to mine. Its all part of the ebb and flow of life, and people willing to play the game of life can do so only when people open up to them. I dont want to work with people who are the job and then just go home- its boring as hell. I like the fact that life is pervasive and not easily quashed by the working world. It works so easily. If someone is an idiot , tell them, if someone is a racist tell them, help people to sort through it all.

Life is a journey with all parties struggling for enlightenment of sorts and I like to hear their troubles and help them get to a destination rather better than the one they were originally heading for.It enriches my life and theirs, is just a question of having the balls to take it on.

If you think there is a moral lesson someobody needs to learn, describe it to them. If you think that someone is squandering their life , advertise your more frugal and sensible lifestyle and offer it as balance and an alternative.

Communication is a good thing , whatever the subject, it helps people to exchange opinion and grow.

If someone wants to discuss their sex life at work, personally I find that both hilarious and a veritable goldmine of experience. I rather like it when people drop their barriers, its when most of the natural humour arrives.

Besides in my case, its very much a question of morals are for those who can afford them, and its easier to sit in judgement than truly engage. Personally I like to get out htere and see whats in peoples minds. Racism, embarrassment , and everything. You gotta take these things on. Im in a mixed race partnership myself, and because perhaps I am outspoken, do have an opinion on everything,and do express myself, its surprising how little I run into topics like racism. I have a great personality for keeping prejudice firmly stuck in the woodwork. I like enlightening people about nationality being little more than abstract lines in the sand, and I love telling people how mixed the world is, after all, over say the course of a thousand years almost nobody anywhere can claim to have a "pure" bloodline of any kind.

In fact I came from a family of racists, and now even they have to admit the pointlessness of it all. There are unavoidable triths in life, and when you say them in the right way in the right ear, they take for good.

Im no christian but even I can tell theres billions of lost souls out there. If you can make a difference to any one of them do so, if you know something better than they do, share it.And is someone is unjust, stupid , persecutory, and well lives devils advocacy for its own sake, theres always superior firepower to turn to .lol

Open ears , open mind, open mouth. The three ingredients of getting to the root of problems and sorting them out.In work envoronments its all too easy for the people around you to get stuck in a microcosm of lonliness, after all , the slavery that can sometimes be work actually takes time away from the thoughts you should be having, the life experiences you should be reaping. Being professional is one thing, but forgetting your emotions , your opinions, and your own will to engage is nothing short of soul destroying.Dale carnegie and office politics cant tell you how to live, in fact they usually deprive you of the opportunities to live, and I have to say , a wry grin spreads over my face when the office structure starts to crack a little and let humanity in.

Dealing with it is a rather fun part of life. Its also a time when friends can be made, enemies denounced, and character is defined.

The uneasy peace that is office professionalism is not natural, and im a big advocate of all things natural.Its one thing to keep the peace , but its quite another to allow things to fester, and festering is a lot of what the modern world does. Make sure prudishness is not mistaken for moral value, and that office peace is not allowed to deaden the human spirit, and never , never , never be afraid to be yourself and express your own genuinely felt opinion.If we repress ourselves like that, you can practically sit there and watch your life quality drop directly down the toilet.


LHG has spoken, go out and do great things ...

Lot's of good advice there, and I do agree with the part about some conversations letting you look into people's lives just a bit, and sometimes certain comments are really a cry for help.

Anyways, here is a pic of the earrings that started it all

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d152/clownygirl/Hubby%20and%20Me/Mynewearrings.jpg

VERY nice Clowny! No wonder she is jealous!

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I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
~ Mae West

Pretty!

For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks. - Terry Pratchett

jealous, thats all there is to it.

just be glad you don't have a co-worker who starts conversations while you are both at a urinal...

thats like man law #4, thou shalt not talketh to any other man while in thy restroom....

Im sure many loving relationships have been formed under such circumstances.

Personally i'd run away.

WOW.. those are beautiful!! Good job hubby!!

She is definately jealous. The picture confirms she has every reason to be.

Wear the earrings with Pride!!!

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"it's the neck, it creaks under the weight of too much heavy thinking."

Turns head from side to side showing off earrings to everybody.

Rasco, I agree with the no talking in urinal thing. There is this guy in my college who has a terrible habit of holding the men's urinal door open while talking to the folks inside

And the men's rest room is right next to the women's rest room, so if ur walking past ...

Clowny... barbed remarks often come from people who don't know how to make their life any different. Thinking your life is charmed rather than a series of choices absolves them from taking responsibility for their own circumstances.

You and your husband sound like you have similar values and appreciate each other.

Here's the joking bit.....

I have run some common phrases through the "wish-ga grouch-o-meter" .... imagine the quotes in GREEN

eg:

"It's all right for you... we can only afford to rent"
(translation: we prefer to have take-out three times a week, all the latest DVD releases, spend on consumables and buy a new car from the showroom every 4 years.... all the while they ignore that as a mortgagee you have low budget family holidays, take your lunch to work, buy 2nd hand cars, and carefully select on sale or 2nd hand furniture..... yeah it's all right for some)

"Well, we couldn't pay for our kids to go to 'insert name of school'..."
(translation: your kids will succeed not due to hard work but because of the name of the school on the resume..... grrrrr)

"We can't afford things like that"
(translation: rather than budgetting and planning you just earn squillions)

"You're spoilt"
(translation: gee these sour grapes are getting stuck between my teeth.)

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~~~ My fish blow kisses at me all day long ~~~