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My heart is broken.....................
Those who has talked to me in chat or on MSN would know what happened.
Any way, it's about this girl i really like. I told her about a month ago that i like her, and she answered that she feel the same for me too. Until now we've been seeing eachother everyday (just for school) and she comes over every friday after school and stays to until 8pm. In the holidays we've both agreed to go ice skating and we are going to the formal in a month time. Everyone at school kind of thinks that we like eachother other, well they are right about that i like her. But only recently, like today, her friend asked her if she ever felt anything more than just friendly about me, and she answered that we've always only been very good friends. And she's going out with someone else, namely her bf. When I asked if she has a bf, she answered yes but told me that they are cooling off at the moment cause they live across the city from eachother, and that was about a month ago. Why would she say that when it's not the case? Why would she say she likes me and tell her friend she only see me as a good friend? Why would she hurt my feelings? I was going to ask if she wants to call ice skating a date, but now I don't know what should I do. Why...............

Please help me with the following options (select one and add lots of comments and your own words):

1. Keep on going with what i believe and like her as before. And tell her everything you think and ask about her feelings. Push everything out of her and get over with it.

2. From now on, just treat her as a very very good friend. Forget i ever liked her and get on with my own life.

3. Just admit that I am a sad person, and she'll never like me.

4. Treat her as a very very good friend for the time being, and try to get closer with her slowly, and hopefully one day she will break up and come together with me.

5. Hate her and start to ignore her. Tell her that she hurt my feelings and you never want to see her again.

6. Just tell her that I really really love her and leave her to think about it her self.



Last edited by JQW at 01-Apr-2005 05:39

Definately option 3.
There's no other solution.


Yea, let's edit the original post so my answer looks stupid.

Last edited by Dave. at 01-Apr-2005 04:58

Did she go out with you on that high school formal?

maybe you should keep up with the status quo and see if she will wake up and find out that long distance relationships just dont work. Then......REBOUND DATE!! :%)

(....maybe Im the sad person)

#2.

There'll be other girls hun. You've seen what kind of person she is, now is she good enough for the person you are? She hasn't been truthful to you, so even if you two did become more, you'd always have that on your mind.

There will be other girls, so just leave this one behind. Stay friends with her because that's the nice thing to do, but don't try anything.

Good luck .

---

They shade the glow of it with their mossy-misty costumes,
They wear masks of silk, porcelain, brass, and silver,
So as not to mislead with their own, ordinary faces.

What do you need from her to feel better?

Assuming that she does want to be with her BF, what could she do or say and would it make you feel better or just feel like she was saying it to make you feel better?

I think you should talk to her about it, but i think you should accept that she is with another person, and (for now at least) that is what she wants, but she also wants a strong friendship with you, and friendships almost always last longer than romances.

Is it going to be painful for you to be her friend? Is that pain worth the benefits?

Would you find it more beneficial to just stop seeing her completely? (and is that even a possibility with classes?)


You seem hurt, and that is understandable, she should have thought ahead a little more, but perhaps she was unaware that you felt so strongly. It takes experience with these things to gain foresight.
Try to look a little objectively, I know its very hard, but its preferable to yelling and screaming at her, or doing something that you will regret.

*huggs* you keep strong


For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks. - Terry Pratchett

2. From now on, just treat her as a very very good friend. Forget i ever liked her and get on with my own life.

Yup, go with that one. I'm sure neither of you want to end contact with each other, so I don't think some of those are good ideas. Also, when she says she doesn't like you, well, unfortunately you just have to take that; if she changes her mind, so be it, but really you can't count on that. But like Callatya was saying, you should weigh the pros and cons.

And really, don't get sad. Plenty of fish in the sea, that's what the say, right? Yes yes, I know all the fish in the sea aren't the same and you may think you're looking at an Angelfish in a school of Anthias, but really, if you look, someday you'll find her.

Of course, you really should take this with a grain of salt because I was just told by the girl that I, erm, "fancy" that she doesn't quite like me in that way. I just have to shrug it off and step forward in life. 'Course, it's easier said than done...

Last edited by Shinigami at 01-Apr-2005 10:06

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The aquarist is one who must learn the ways of the biologist, the chemist, and the veterinarian.

I say #2. She is playing games. She wants to make sure she has at least one boyfriend. If the BF doesn't work out she figures she has you stringing along in the background.

___________________________________________

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished.

Go with #2. Sometimes things just don't work out in the romance dept. but being friends works out great.

Mike

6. Just tell her that I really really love her and leave her to think about it her self.

women are like cars u gotta test drive them all b4 u find the one u really like

n as u get older broken hearts seem to fade in there painfulness
for the last 6-7 years ive had a different g/f every month some months 2-3
u get burned move on
it sucks that u dont get the gurl u want but maybe ull find someone better
ur getting older n will prolly b going to college or something n there u will meet alot of gurls

i didnt think i could ever find the right girl but i found one that i really want to b with
jsut dont dwell on the past live life for what it is or ull regret it later
good luck bud

"From now on, just treat her as a very very good friend. Forget i ever liked her and get on with my own life."

I'd say this is your best option. It seems that she just wants to have it both ways, and it just doesn't work that way. I'd stay friends with her, but move on and find someone else. Maybe some day she'll realize you are the one she wants to be with, but until then...I wouldn't hold my breath. Go out and have fun...don't wait around and stop living your life for anyone.

Good luck!!

exactly what i was trying to say the other night balagirl. just keep being her friend, and if she wants to be with you she will be with you and not her current bf. if things don't work out, then you will find someone else to be with, and hopefully someone who won't play these games with your head

---

"That's the trouble with political jokes in this country... they get elected!" -- Dave Lippman

I'd go for a slightly altered version of the last one;
tell her she hurt your feelings, but also tell het to make a decision.
I know I don't have much patience, but sitting around sobbing isn't going to do you much good either.
So whatever the outcome, get it over with and move on.

Girls can be very dumb (as well as guys). You deserve someone who can give you all of her time rather than playing around with other people. Tell her that you don't want to have to share you with other people, so when she breaks ups with her bf (definitively) you will then talk (don't say you'll be with her then, just say that you will talk about it)...because you don't want to sound desparate, because you shouldnt be. If i were you, I'd put a foot in her rear and say be done with it, but that's just me.

I've got a fever... and the only prescription... is more cowbell!