FishProfiles.com Message Forums

Is it really THAT hard of a thing to do? I have seen so much bickering and drama around here lately that it is not even funny! There even seem to be a couple of people on this site that go out of their way to be rude and nasty to any newcomers on their territory. I came here almost a year ago now, and almost left right away with the way I was initially treated. The only reason I even came back was because I had entered one of my bettas in the betta contest and wanted to know how she did. I happened to go into chat that day, and ended up befriending a couple of people. Those people are the ONLY reason I stayed and decided this site was worth paying a membership fee to. Since then though, I have been sickened time after time seeing a new face, and watching people either be plain rude, or jumping on them like a pack of starving dogs on a steak! Is there some reason why we all can't just get along, or at least put on a fake smile, and not be rude. I would not blame half the new members for never returning again, and for going to other sites and talking badly of the treatment they have received here! Luckily, for as many people as there are that are rude, there are also that many who are not. I may just be rambling here, or venting, or whatever, but I think it is a serious issue. The next time someone comes in who is new to the hobby and has a goldfish living in a bowl with 5 neons, can't everybody just think twice before they speak and then say something productive? If you don't have something helpful, productive, or at the very least, something to say in a NICE way, then don't bother saying anything at all. All it takes is one person to make everyone look bad here! I just think it would be nice if everyone could be treated the same... new or old, premie or not! Think and have a little respect... put yourself in someone else's shoes! We all started somewhere! None of us knew exactly what we were doing right from day 1. I am just really irritated watching the way some people on this site insist on treating people who are not in their special little circle! I think I have vented enough for one day! And if I stepped on any toes, or annoyed anyone, then I am sorry, but I do think it is important to treat new members with a little more respect than they normally get around here!

WORD!

...and now I am going to make my first use of the new smilies! /:'

I agree with what was said. Sometimes, people go out of their way to be rude to people on purpose. However, there are definatly some people who are incredibly helpful and nice to everyone. I know I try to be. Seriously though, we have got to be much nicer to newbies to the site and to the hobby. I would like to thank Stormy, Liana, Diane, Dani, Shinigami, and many others for being really helpful to the newbies. Honestly people, if you can't say anything nice to the newbies, just ignore them. I hope none of us do ignore them, but it's better than being rude to them.

Yes, I agree in that newbies should get treated with more respect. Many of them don't know what they're doing, which is why they join the site in the first place. When people inform them right off the bat that their tank's stocking or what they want to put in it is "wrong", they tend to feel hurt or confused. 'I wanted these people to help me, but they just sound angry!' I can see why someone would feel this way. Using more tact in "helping" people would certainly solve some of the problems that we are having.

Another thing is that some folks seem to get irritated by newbies and those who are still learning things about the hobby. It appears that they tend to feel like the people '...should know this already because it is common knowledge.' Just remember, pretty much nobody who has just started keeping fish knows what they are doing. I know I didn't. I still have people treat me with disrespect regarding incorrect information I post in the forums, even though I've been at the fish thing for seven months now. I guess we can't all be superstars.

Newbies, take heart. You aren't forgotten.

Last edited by sirbooks at 15-Feb-2005 17:58

---

And when he gets to Heaven, to Saint Peter he will tell: "One more Marine reporting, Sir! I've served my time in Hell."

*nods...*

I don't think anyone actually goes out of their way to be rude...

FP is like a family right...?

And within any good family there is a little argueing.

Am I saying there's not a problem? No. I'm just saying I don't find it so out of the norm, and we're making a bigger deal out of it than we should.

Yes, it can be frusturating to explain a cycle for the 302948207'th time, or explain how come goldies and oscars can't live in bowls.

Sometimes its rough not to jump on a newbie when you've already been asked the same question so many times. It's even harder to post answers to simple questions when people don't listen to you.

Working at my LFS has helped me with both of these things; it has made it easier to work with newbies, and easier to continue helping people even when your advice isn't followed.

Now, I'm not suggesting we all go out and get jobs at the LFS. What I'm saying, is that I think we all should try to be a little more tolerant of e/o, but at the same time, I think we need to toughen up a bit.

I hope this made sense.



[hr width='40%'][font color="#000080"]"I know that you are something special, To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed, Then I hope you'll see the heart in me"[/font]

-Formerly known as the Ferretfish

I can assure you that there are some people who go out of their way to be rude to other members, and not even newbies specifically. BTW, I would like to commend the mods on the excellent job they have been doing lately.

Last edited by Daniel at 16-Feb-2005 16:40

I tend to find the issue is, looking around at posts, not so much the issue of us being mean to newbies, but people getting way overly defensive. So many people here just seem to be bracing themselves, ready for the attack the moment they hit "send"-- just relax people, have a little humor!

To answer a member's question (not asked in this thread), nothing has happened out of the ordinary today, this is an ongoing thing I have noticed, and apparently so have others. As I said in the initial thread, I have been a member for almost a year now and almost left because of the way people treated me when I first came. I may not reply to every single thread I read, but I do read a lot of threads, and do see a lot of people being rude when they could just not say anything at all. If I do not feel I have something positive to say, or productive to say about a thread, I don't make a response at all. Is that too much to ask of others? I have lurked around chat and seen with my own eyes new people come in and get treated like a bad case of ich! I was HOPING that maybe some of the people who tend to be a bit more on the rude side might read this post and think a bit more before they jump on the next person. Everyone has to start somewhere, and everyone is a newbie at one point in time or another, so everyone needs to have a little more patience and understanding with newbies. My grandmother has always told me, "You'll catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar!", and that is very true. If we are rude to people, they are going to turn around and walk away without learning anything. If we are polite to people, maybe they will stay around long enough to learn a thing or two and they and their fish could both benefit from it. Also, if you don't feel like explaining the cycle for the umpteenth time, just link them to the page that explains it. I know I have been frustrated too, and have been tempted to be rude, but I took a deep breath, and explained the cycle step by step to a newbie, and I am very proud of that newbie because he is now taking care of his fish properly, and is doing everything in the proper order and being patient about it. I could have been rude, and he could have gone elsewhere, or innocent fish could have suffered because no one was willing to have a little patience.

EDIT: And just to make this obvious as well, this is in NO way an attack on the mods or admins and the work that they do here. This is simply a plea for people to be a but more understanding, and a bit less "better than thou" just because they have already passed the newbie stage themselves!


Last edited by Stormy5 at 15-Feb-2005 19:20

Last edited by Stormy5 at 15-Feb-2005 20:14

it's not just the newbies they jump at.

Very true faeriana! I just think everyone needs to have a little more patience and be a bit more friendly about things! There is no reason for hostility... we are all here for the same reason: the love of our fish! If everyone could just remember that, things could be a lot better.

I agree with what you're saying, but...I think that sometimes there are too many repeat posts. People who don't know what they're doing and are absolute newbies should at least check back in the boards because their question may have already been answered.

If someone is a newbie, generally they don't know how to navigate the site very well. When I first found this site, I found one specific forum, and not the whole site. I posted in the completely wrong forum, and it had to be moved by a mod. I had NO CLUE there were multiple forums, let alone how to navigate them. It was not until a mod moved my thread that I found the rest of the site. Even if they ask a question that has already been asked, does it take so much effort to be polite and link them to the other thread, or just give them a little bit of help? It only takes a second to give someone the help that could last them a lifetime. If you do not want to help, then just don't say anything... someone else will come along and say something eventually. Saying nothing is better than saying something rude. There will always be people asking repeat questions, whether they are new or not.

You must remember that when you have any large number of people gathering together you are always going to come across [font color="#C00000"]EDIT[/font]that like to try and have some sort of power over others. When I first joined I'm sure I repeated posts that have been posted thousands of times but if newbies can't post what's the point of a forum. I ignored the types you are speaking of when I first came here. Maybe people need to be a little thicker-skinned and not let these people get the better of them because as we all know there are more helpful people than not.

[font color="#C00000"]Edited for language...please do not/attempt to bypass the censor. DRO[/font]



Last edited by DarkRealm Overlord at 15-Feb-2005 23:56