FishProfiles.com Message Forums

While I would be the last person to suggest that the Board loses its collective sense of humour, I've been doing some thinking. Prompted in the main by the infamous "What Colour Underpants Are You Wearing" thread.

Now, I understand, along with everyone else, that this thread started as a joke, prompted in turn by several other polls that have materialised here in RR. The trouble is, this joke has a less than happy side, and if I'm beginning to sound a bit parental here, then perhaps it's my age, perhaps it's due to the fact that someday (if I can find the right woman to settle down with - sigh) I would like to start a family of my own.

But the fact remains that this Board has a collection of under-16s as members. Including teenage girls. While they would probably say in response that they are able to cope with lurid unsolicited E-Mails, prevention is better than cure. And all it takes is one individual of dubious character to alight upon this Board, find the thread, and start reading it, and some of the posters in that thread could end up receiving some very unpleasant correspondence indeed.

I'm sure the Mods have given this some thought, and may or may not agree with my erring on the side of caution here. Plus, the administrative work involved in removing the thread would probably be considerable, should the need ever arise. But I am somewhat concerned, not least because there are some creepy people out there. And I wouldn't want a daughter of mine telling the world at large what's in her underwear drawer, for reasons that should be pretty obvious.

I hope the need never arises, and that the FPilians can continue indulging their sometimes offbeat humour in here (and that I can join in when the moment is right!), but I thought a note of caution was apposite, and hence I've put fingers to keyboard once again, in the hope that people won't think I'm being unduly "square" by expressing my concerns.

Hopefully everyone will take this in the spirit intended, and won't think I'm finger-wagging



Last edited by Calilasseia at 24-Mar-2005 15:40

Panda Catfish fan and keeper/breeder since Christmas 2002

Here, here, Cali. As my username implies I'm an oldtimer and couldn't agree with you more. Also as a parent of six (3 girls, the youngest being 18) and 6 grandchildren (4 of them girls) I have many of the concerns stated. Thanks for having the foresight to bring it up. Bravo to you/:'

---

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. -- Mark Twain

You're right that we can cope. If someone doesn't want that kind of attention, they don't have to post on those threads. Girls my age won't always have someone there to stop these kinds of things before they start, so experience here may prove useful later in life. While I don't condone that kind of activity, they will encounter it sometime.

I've never heard of any members making someone feel uncomfortable by sexually harassing them. Fish forums don't excatly seem like the first place one would go for that sort of thing. If something happens, I'm sure our mod team will sort it all out.

---

They shade the glow of it with their mossy-misty costumes,
They wear masks of silk, porcelain, brass, and silver,
So as not to mislead with their own, ordinary faces.

Though I have my e-mail address posted in my profile I would not allow my children to post theirs on a forum such as this, any public forum actually.

I hope none of the under 18 set has their address posted and if you do please remove it.

That said, I think the underwear thread was just plain old goofy sophomoric fun.

Mike

Cali, I must agree with you...though I admit I did post to the afore mentioned post...

It seems to me, and it seems to be getting stronger and stronger every day, that I need to protect my "kids", and some of you that I've never met, (yes, janna you are one) I consider my kiddos. I have actually gone back and edited a couple of my posts because of how it read after I posted it, and thought would I want one of my third graders to read it, the answer was no...

Janna it is for this overprotective reason that I made that how old are you post, labeled under 19, and lumped all of ya'll together...though I know and would expect an 18 and 19 year old to be able to handle some "things" that could come up, I didn't want to totally seperate my kiddos totally...but i didn't want the poll, though you could reply and just say under 19

OK I'm babbling, here is my point...

"Kiddos, and you know who you are! Be careful out here...I know we all work together to keep this as a family friendly site, but I'd hate for some oddball to decide hey look at this site, lots of kids, I could become a member easily...I want ya'll to be safe...don't tell someone hey look i live on 5th street...just give them the general area...for us...Houston, Texas I think gives everyone a good basic area...Kiddos, those who are mine personally, and those I care for that I have never met...I love ya'll, and want you to not have to grow up overnight due to something stupid"

Heidi

"I've got a great ambition to die of exhaustion rather than boredom." Thomas Carlyle

I'm a middle-aged timer and I agree, Cali. We got into a similar discussion on another thread. Adam, and the moderating team have generally done an outstanding job to make and keep this a place where I could suggest my young niece or nephew come. I would hate to see it slip into bad taste. I do however, understand it was meant as a joke.

I made a few joke posts on the aforementioned topic, admittedly. It definitely pays to be cautious. Though, IMO, if a shady character was to be looking for, well, you know...I doubt that a fish hobbyist board would be his first haunt.

If someone felt uncomfortable about posting their age, they didn't have to post. You've got to give us a little more credit than that, hun. I only know of a couple girls, or really only one, that I wouldn't trust to protect herself. And that girl isn't very active anyways.

Us gals have been raised in this day and age, and we're a bit tougher than you seem to think.

---

They shade the glow of it with their mossy-misty costumes,
They wear masks of silk, porcelain, brass, and silver,
So as not to mislead with their own, ordinary faces.

??? wierd its just asking about underpants??
no big deal

Considering current fashions are to wear your underpants some foot higher than the outer pants, stating what colour you are wearing is rather ho-hum

I understand the point though. We don't want this to turn into a hunting ground.


However I must say that I have a lot of faith in our younger members, and if at any stage ANYONE feels uncomfortable or is recieving unwanted attention, pick a moderator you feel comfy with and tell them

We have a large selection of beat-em-up weapons at our disposal for such occasions





For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks. - Terry Pratchett

There is another side to this as well. The adults.

Not only is it wise for the young to protect themselves by not sharing personal contact information, it *should* be the duty of the adults to be good role models and not make it socially acceptable to behave in such a manner so that concerns like the one raised by Calilasseia are necessary.
To me, that is the bigger danger here.

It is obvious that not all the young people who frequent this site are monitored by their parents/guardians in regards to their "netiquette". I know there has got to be Mom's and Dads that if they knew what their children were saying in here they the parents would be alarmed. No matter how much it would alarm them that their own child may be actively partaking in such threads, it would probably concern them just as much that there are adults playing with or publicly amongst the kids. Bummer, huh.

I too know that the underpants thread was started with no ill intentions. I also can see where a thread like that could be fun for the younger crowd. It isn't much different than what most younger people do as they are exploring the boundaries of what is acceptable behavior and what isn't in other aspects of their lives outside of the internet. So it is natural. We all attempted to push the boundary while growing up. If anyone says they didn't then they would be fibbing. There is a difference between growing up and grown-up though.

I stand by the statement that I made in the underpants thread about that underpants thread turning scary. That thread was troublesome on many different levels. Ignoring what was happening became less and less an option as it continued.

The Moderators do a fine job at trying to keep the site family oriented. Whether or not we want it, we adults have our own level of responsibility here too. We are no longer children and whether or not we have children of our own that we are responsible for we are responsible TO the young people here to not condone or promote potentially harmful or unacceptable behavior.

plain old goofy sophomoric fun

is fine for plain old sophomores. Not for "seniors" if it involves freshmen and in some cases younger.

Calilasseia, kudos for you for caring. There isn't enough of that in the world today. Janna, be thankful that people like Calilasseia do care about people like you. There are far more adults out there that couldn't care less about your wellbeing and safety than those that do. I'd be thanking him if I were you.

And Cali.. you'll make a good Dad when the time comes. From what I can see I can't understand why some woman hasn't snatched you up by now. It will be a lucky lady that does.

*Tosses the worthless soapbox to the side*

Last edited by Tammy at 25-Mar-2005 06:32