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What is true love?
How does love between partners differ from love between family and friends?
How long does true love last in a relationship?
Is love a two way thing or can you be happy just to love someone without knowing that they love you back?
Does true love turn bad? Is true love forever?
Why do people lose the love they once had in a relationship if true love is forever?


I've been thinking about all these in the past few days.

...baby don't hurt me,
don't hurt me,
no more.

duh duh duhduhduh duh duh duh duh duh duhduhudh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duhduh duh

I don't know,
you're not there,
I gave you my love, but you don't care--
so what is right?
What is wrong?
give me a siiiiiiign...

Well, I think you are trying to look at "love" as both a generalized term and a specific term all at the same time. For example, it somehow seems that you are trying to put parent/child love and wife/husband love in the same boat. As the exile program in the subway in The Matrix: Reloaded said, "Love is just a word..."

Lets break things down. Parents (at least good ones) have certain feelings about their children. They wish for the best of their child, do what they can so the child is happy (at least in the long run), do what is best for the child, so on and so forth. This kind of "love" is generally a given love. It doesn't have to be built, its just there from day one. It is a very strong love. Many parents would go to the ends of the Earth and die if need be for their children.

Now the feelings between two friends (just friends not b/f and g/f) are different. Two friends may really enjoy being in each others company. Trust is built up over time. They enjoy the same things, help each other out, and other friendly kinds of things. This kind of relationship is built over time. Most people wouldn't trust their deepest and darkest secrets to just anyone, but a best friend would be there. This "brotherly love" usually isn't considered love, but it is a type. Also, try to get two straight men to say "I love you" to their best friend

Now, the the relationship where "love" is used the most is bf/gf or husband/wife. This kind of love is the hardest to understand. This is where I think your questions are directed. True love is hard to find. True love is 100% trust in each other, unending flow of emotions, and the highest level of care for one another. Many people think true love is a perfect relationship. No fighting, no disagreeing, everything runs like clockwork. I think true love, however, is the opposite of that.

There will be disagreement, there will be fighting, and everything will not run like clockwork. True love though, is understanding the disagreement, and coming to a compromise. True love is getting through the argument and the anger, and then feeling the same emotions for them like there was no argument. True love fixing what is broken and doing what you can to make things work like clockwork. True love is a perfect relationship with problems...

How long does true love last? Forever. Simple as that.

Can you love someone without them loving you back? Sure. I can love Jennifer Aniston (I think shes FREAKIN HOT!!!) with all my might, but the chances of her even knowing I exist are zero to none.

Does true love turn bad? No. Its the same as asking can perfect go bad. If its TRUE love, then no.

Why do people lose the love they once had in a relationship if true love is forever? Simple, it wasn't true love.

Now, the questions that you should be asking... how do you find true love? And when you find true love, how do you know?

Marriage #1 ended after 10 years, marriage #2 isn't doing too well after 4 years so I'm not the best person to ask

~~~~~~~~~~~~
There is water at the bottom of the ocean

I'm with Theresa....marriage #1 is over after 13 years.....never EVER getting married again. Love bites!!!

---

~~Melissa~~
"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."

Love doesn't bite, people bite.

Also, peoples have tried since the dawn of time to define love, you can't. The closest thing I hear of is "that warm fuzzy feeling inside" that you dont feel when people other than that one specific person is around, yo. ^_^*

Thats a really tough question to answer.

Inky

True love can only be known in retrospect. Tough break for those looking for it.Remember that before you get married eh .

um.... it's not feeling embarassed that you have fave shows that are uncool.

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~ My fish blow kisses at me all day long ~~~

True love.

Er, you'll recognise it when you've experienced a bunch of not-so-true-loves?


I don't think you need to fight. I know some people do, some people need it, others don't. I don't, but my best mate seems to require it.


I suppose to me, true love is just the world's best friendship. With a bit of attraction and intrigue

How long does true love last? well, that depends on your definition of true love I once had it explained to me that the trick to a long and loving relationship is to never fall out of love at the same time. I think there is something in that. Also, I read once that love is a choice. Every day you choose to be with the same person. Not because you have to, or because anyone expects it of you, but because you want to. I reckon there is something in that too.

I don't think I could be happy with just loving someone without them loving me back UNLESS they were known to be out of reach from the get-go, like Brad Pitt or that guy in the Horseland catalogue *drool* but loving a close friend or colleague, that would be pain beyond belief. I'm not cut out for that, I'd say that'd be the worst kind of torture for me.

True love could fade I guess (again, depending on the definition), but it shouldn't just blip over into nothingness. If its based on something solid, then there should be something remaining, even if its just caring and a deep understanding of each other.

People lose lust and attracion and grow bored or get itchy feet etc. Its not that people don't try, or that they nwever had it to start with, just that they aren't pulling in the same direction, or their lives change path, or they grow or change or require different things that they can't find in their partner.

So yeah, words aren't the best to define it. I think i may have attempted to define a relationsip more than your storybook 'true love', but maybe its useful anyhoo

For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks. - Terry Pratchett

Hmm, I think some of Rasco's post is some words I needed to hear.

As for Calla

but loving a close friend or colleague, that would be pain beyond belief. I'm not cut out for that, I'd say that'd be the worst kind of torture for me.

Yeah, I don't know what you're speculating, but IME you're right there. At least if that friend/colleague isn't looking for the same things in the relationship there. But worse yet if they don't know it. But at the same time, there's nothing I can do to change the way I feel. Perhaps it takes time, but in a month that's seemed like an eternity, I don't see an end, just maybe a slight change. Still a valued friendship, at least I have that.

I suppose that means I can answer JQW's fourth question then. It's possible to love someone without knowing that they love you back, but it might send you places you never want to go again. It's easier even just to love someone and know they don't feel quite the same way about you. At least then you know. I've lost plenty of tears, weight, my mind (almost anyway), and even my lunch once from the former. I wouldn't recommend it if you can avoid it.

Little did you know, superlion actually has a heart...

><>

What is true love?

The love of ones self ?

Most everything we do in life is based on how it will effect us. Even the nice things we do are usually done for how they make us feel about ourselves. We are each of the center of our own universe. Loving someone else may just be a way of loving our selves.

How does love between partners differ from love between family and friends?

It's more instinctual. Lust and physical attraction are taken out of the equation.

How long does true love last in a relationship?

How long is apiece of string ?

Is love a two way thing or can you be happy just to love someone without knowing that they love you back?

As I said everything comes back to the self, how it makes us feel about ourselves. In that sense it's a one way thing but the fact that we need to feel good about ourselves neccessitates some form of feedback so it has to be 2 way thing.
As to being happy, well the Brad Pitt analogies given are not pertinent. That's not love because those people aren't real to us - they are images , idealisations, we've never met these people, don't know them so we can't really love them.
No you can't be happy loving somebody who doesn't love you back, not unless you've got some serious masochistic tendencies.We need to feel good about ourselves, we need the love we give out to be reflected back to us in some way.

Does true love turn bad? Is true love forever?

The very fact that you keep using the word true before love tells you a lot. Why? Is there false love? Is love an illusion ? Who hurt you ? Or did somebody lie to you ? Finding out and understanding why you need to qualify the word love with "true" will probably answer all your questions on the subject !
Love can die but more often then not it's killed. By people, circumstances, unfortunate twists of fate.

Why do people lose the love they once had in a relationship if true love is forever?

Love is not a given, like respect it's something that has to earned. And once received it has to be nutured and worked at. It requires discipline and stamina. It requires two people who love themselves first and are willing to do what has to be done to keep the light shining through all the peaks and valleys, to build something that can withstand what life is going to throw at it for avery long time.It requires 2 people who are comfortable enough in their own skin that they can give someone more then they need to receive. That combination is very very rare. Most of us don't have what it takes. The need for self gratification nearly always comes to the fore.

I've been thinking about all these in the past few days.

Learn to love yourself first - only then will you be equipped to really love someone else.

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Some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.

Remember that age and treachery will always triumph over youth and ability.