FishProfiles.com Message Forums

Why, Why, Why


Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
* * *

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

lol i was just thinking about some of those a few days ago

Because we live in a world full of mostly stupid people (Americans generally more-so than those of the rest of the world)...that's why...

I have an answer for everything.... I'm really bored arnt I?


Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

-to tell it whose boss

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

- to get more money and remind us to put more in, or mabey get a credit card.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

-they want to leave thier hand prints everywhere

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

-Glue is magical

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

-To make the prisioners feel special ^_^

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

-His monkey friend tought him to shave.

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

-If you saw something flying at your face really fast, would you want to think for one second that you could be harmed by it? Hoorah for reflexes!

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

- Just is case

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

- Mine!

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

-What else would they put at the primate exibits at zoos?

Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

- Because its prittier

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

- Just like cars, the answer is no.

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

- Some people have magical fridges and maids, everyone else just wishes that they had them *nods*

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

- Thats just cause their dumb

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

- Plastic bags are the spawn of the devil.

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

- Pixie Dust

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

- We dont want to make them feel any dumber than they already do for hitting us in the first place.

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

-To keep everything well balanced.

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

- So that gas companies will stay in buissiness year round.

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

- The same reason we don't hear any "Your Daddys so fat" jokes


AND THATS THE WORLD ACCORDING TO ME! THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT! *bows* /:'

Inky

Wow...you have too much time on your hands...

To waste even more of your time, visit http://www.stolensidekick.com

BTW, I might ph34r t3h l33+ 1 if she learned how to spell 1337

When I try to vacuum up a peice of string, it usually winds itself around the roller bar and shuts down the machine....

Poision Waffle- 133+ or l337 or L33T or L33+, has no set spelling... thats the whole point. Just like ph34r can also be spelled ph33r. Thats what makes l33+ fun.

Anywho, this was more of an
"Im bored and can't sleep kind of thing"

I can do something stupid once and awhile right? Isnt that what makes me human?




Inky

Whatever

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

-it actually works for me

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

-they dont know if u actually have insufficient funds are
just wont pay

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

-it would take along time to see if there are four billion
stars but only a second to see if the paint is wet

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

-because it is made of polyethylene which doesnt bond very well

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

-i assume it has something to do with legality issues

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

-??? maybe he does or did but they left it out
W
hy does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

-he can probably still feel pain, besides it could hit him in the eye blind him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

-???? good question

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

-???? who cares?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

-only a certain species evolved to us the rest didnt change much

Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

-????

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

-probably not

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

-they might have either had a renewed taste for something or are in hopes they missed something

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

-to lazy to walk to the trash can

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

-has for me

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

-theyre not air tight

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

-probably out of habit for when the offender would start crying

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

-probably because youre only objective was to catch the object and not worry about what is in the way

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

-who would keep there house at 78 degrees(f)? especialy if they complain about it? most people like it at around 70 year round

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
* * *

-because fathers generally dont develop problems when there child gets married

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

bonus question:why does the doctor always make you wait?

-so that your heart rate calms down so there tests are accurate

Heres some more for ya:

Why do drive up ATMs have brail on the buttons?
Why are there parking lots at bars?



Inky

If evolution is true... why isn't there just one species

Why do you ALWAYS lose 1 sock (even if you have different types of socks)

I saw at a fast food joint, "Picture menus are availible" think about that one...

Why do we have to pay a toll on "freeways"?

Can a school teacher give a homeless child homework?

Why do they say "an alarm going off," if it is really going on?

Why is most lunchmeat bigger than the bread?

Why do mattresses have designs on them when they're always covered with sheets?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait an hour before getting out of the water?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?

Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

Why is it when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not adoor?

Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?

Why is it called a bust, when it stops right before the part it is named after?

Why don't you ever hear about gruntled employees?

Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Why do we have hot water heaters?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

How exactly is it cold as hell????

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window!

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?

If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?

I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?

How can something be new and improved? if it's new, what was it improving on?

Why is it good to be a Daddy's girl, but bad to be a Momma's boy?

If The Flintstones were B.C. and before America, why did they have Flintstones Thanksgiving and Flintstones Christmas?

How can you chop down a tree and then chop it up?

Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?

What would happen if you took a pieced of buttered toast (which ALWAYS lands butter side down!), and but it butter side up on the back of a cat (which always lands on its feet!)?

And because I love* English: Since there is a rule that states "i" before "e" except after "c", wouldn't "science" be spelled wrong?



*By love, I actually mean hate more than hate itself...

i know these are purely for humor but some these questions are just so stupid i have to correct them

Why do we have to pay a toll on "freeways"?

-u dont because the roads that charge tolls are called tollways and the ones that dont are called freeways

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

-A) they are not idestructible there are many on board in different locations and B)because the concept of a plane is the ability to fly

After eating, do amphibians have to wait an hour before getting out of the water?

-no they were built for that

If The Flintstones were B.C. and before America, why did they have Flintstones Thanksgiving and Flintstones Christmas?

-because its a stupid show

And because I love* English: Since there is a rule that states "i" before "e" except after "c", wouldn't "science" be spelled wrong?

actually your correct but its a stupid rule that only works for like two words