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1) get a cat not for consoling, but for company and for talking to Dogs are better tho, perhaps a whippet?

2) Ahhh, in a moment of strength, call the phone company and block that number from outgoing calls that way you covered your bases in case you cave (which you wont you are a strong chicken

*is proud of you*

For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks. - Terry Pratchett

best way to get over someone? liquor and lots of CHOCOLATE!!!

Have a bon fire with anything that reminds you of him...

Call a good friend (not him) and have a good cry (you deserve it, and it will help initially). Then you and the friend can talk awful things about him while doing #1...

Why not call him? He's a loser! Delete his phone number from any and every place you might have planted it...

Let's face it breaking up is hard to do...even if the relationship wasn't a healthy one...

Best of luck...

"I've got a great ambition to die of exhaustion rather than boredom." Thomas Carlyle

I'm glad that you figured it out. It sounds like you guys have things pretty much figured out for the time being. I'm so happy for you!
Now we are both living, breathing examples of the fact that talking to an ex can sometimes help the situation. It's rare, but it happens.
Remember, if you ever need any of us here, we're ready to jump for ya
MUCHLY HUGS!!
Brandi

Thanks for the replies. . . it means a lot.

I know where you're coming from brandi and it turns out we were both too hurt to really understand the situation and we ended up talking it out. We're going to have a completely platonic relationship until both of our lives settle down a bit and then take it wherever it goes. Just so we can concentrate more on talking and understanding each other and get things sorted out. It's hard because I'm not used to it but at least I know I won't be losing the best friend I've ever had.

We're just both going through a lot right now and it's easier to do without being so wrapped up in our relationship troubles. I knew it for a long time but I wad too scared to really change anything. We'll probably get back together later on but for now we just need a time out.

I don't know if this will help you any, but I have had a very recent situation that shows the other side to what everyone is talking about. The only thing is, things aren't exactly the same...well, you'll see for yourself.

Monday of this week I went to my long term boyfriend's house. We obviously weren't living together, but we had been together for four years. We helped each other through so much, and we were the best of friends, just like you guys. He helped me grow up, and I helped him grow down you could say. Either way, you could not separate us.
Well, after so long, I decided that I didn't know what direction we were going. It was a serious thing, we had talked about the future and everything, so it was no fling, but he is moving off to college and I guess maybe I got scared. Plus I wasn't sure if I felt the same about him anymore. So Monday I went over to his house to break it off.
I started off by just breaking it off straight. I said I didn't want to see him anymore, etc. Well, after crying and arguing and hugging etc, we decided that maybe what we needed was a week off.
I was absolutely miserable without him. I mean, I would do things to occupy myself and everything. For example, I went to my brother's baseball game, hung out with friends, spoiled my new rat During the day it wasn't so bad. Everything reminded me of him, but I was making it okay. Then the nights would come, and it was so hard. I called my one friend constantly crying.
Finally my friend told me...maybe you should talk to him. I fought it for awhile because I have tried breaking up with someone and getting back together and it DID NOT WORK.
Finally, he talked me into it. I called the ex and we talked for a long time and DID get back together. Want to know how long we lasted? TWO DAYS.
Now what we have is even stronger than it was. I didn't think it was humanly possible to have something that strong, but we have it.

I guess the whole reason for me replying to your post like this was to show you the other side to what everyone was talking about. Yes most of the times it does not do anything but make you feel worse to talk to an ex. But sometimes it can be the rightest thing in the world for you to do.
In my opinion, you have to think and go with your heart. No one can make this decision for you but yourself. And no one can make it through this breakup but yourself. No matter how many stories and how much advice we try to give you, it all comes down to one thing, you have to go into it alone. We will be standing on the sides to help pick you up if we have to, but for the majority, it's you. I hope that this all works out for the best for you Tryst. Everyone keeps telling you that you're an amazing girl, and the same comes from me, so we must be right
You are strong and I know you can make it through this. We're here to do what we can for you hun *Hugs*
Brandi

I know exactly what you mean. He was my best friend and he just suddenly turned on me. I had no warning that he was going to break up with me; I don't know if I was just blind or ignoring something I didn't want to admit. Of course, this was a long distance relationship... I don't have to get over losing someone I'd lived with, too...

In any case, after a few weeks of alternately moping and raging about him, I tried to continue talking to him. I missed our conversations and I missed my best friend. However, the good is always mixed with the bad... we talked for a few months before I finally realized that though I was happy to be able to talk to my friend again, he was still my ex and nothing was going to change that. I won't get into how dense a man can be in this situation (or, well, how dense this particular man was...)

Suffice it to say that he's no longer my best friend, in fact we hardly talk. While I'm sure some people can continue to be friends with their exes, it just wasn't working for me. You can only let someone take a stab at your heart so many times before you say that's enough.

You have to weigh the good against the bad... is having his friendship worth the pain that may be linked to seeing/hearing from him? I'd wait a while before you make the decision, if I were you, but of course, I'm not.

~Meow. Thus spoke the cat.~

I don't care so much about being single. . . it's just that we were together for 3 years and lived together for the last 8 months so it's really different adjusting to the change. Don't get me wrong, we had great times together but he just isn't mature enough to deal with reality right now. I know there'll be others, it's just hard getting used to not having him around. He was my best friend until just recently. I got sick a few months ago and he couldn't handle it. Close to 3 years of him being a best friend is what I'll miss most, I do still love him but I know it just wasn't working.

I didn't want to call to get back together, I miss chatting to him like a friend. I know it's not a good idea right now but I'm hoping we might be able to talk later on.

I just wanted to clear things up a bit. . . we were quite serious. . . I'm not complaining about some 2 week fling.

Gary, breaking up with someone you cared about is always going to be a difficult & emotional time. If you can't respect that then maybe you should keep your opinions to yourself.

She's just a youngster...

She has plenty of time to break up with a ton of guys.

So what's the problem??

--garyroland.

First you have to ask yourself why you feel bad? Is it you really wanted a relationship or your actually wanted him? Do you feel bad because it didn't work out? Maybe you should be glad it didn't work out and you didn't end up deeper into something that wasn't right for you. Are you just worried about being 'single' again? Exactly what would be the benefit for YOU if you called him? Obviously he's got problems if he let you go and doesn't realize what an idiot he is. A relationship should compliment a person, not take away from. Personally, in my humble opinion, the best thing you can do for yourself is be single for a few years. You learn to be way independent and are more objective when it comes to relationships.

I always say "the best revenge is...living well!" Live it girl!

1.) What do you consider the best way to console yourself after a nasty breakup? Have a nice cry if so desired, help yourself to ice cream/chocolate, or bitch about him with your friends/sibs. This is what I did. I hate crying, but it felt good afterwards...

2.) Why should I force myself to NOT call him? Because no matter what, it's just going to make you feel worse. You don't seem to hold much affection for him anymore, and if he's anything like my ex, he'll say stupid things that make you feel like  . Not because he's vicious, but because he's stupidly inconsiderate and doesn't even know it.

I attempted to stay friends with my ex on and off for nearly six months after breaking up with him. Just last month I finally decided that I didn't deserve feeling like   because he couldn't seem to figure out how to be considerate of my feelings. Of course, I still half love the idiot and he dumped me...

~Meow. Thus spoke the cat.~

1) Chocolate & Cigs
2) Because I duct taped your phone down so you can't use it.

Thanks for the badly needed tim tams!

*imagines long distance charges to texas* cha-ching!

Sorry to hear you're down, but I'm proud of you for going through with it

1)Chocolate

2)Call me instead

PM/email/msg me if you have any questions/comments regarding me or my knowledge or if you want me to read a thread.

Yeah so I finally left the bum. I'm not looking for sympathy or whatever, just a good laugh. So I thought it would be fun to make a thread on 2 questions:

1.) What do you consider the best way to console yourself after a nasty breakup?

2.) Why should I force myself to NOT call him?

First thing you need to do is make a conscious decision that you are not going to bounce back and forth with this person. Either you want to be with him and work things out or you don't. If you don't....

1) There should be no reason to console yourself Tris. You are a smart young lady and you made a decision based on problems the two of you have had. Now you need to stand by that decision. If you know that ending this relationship is going to be best in the long run then just move forward and don't look back. Take this as one of lifes little lessons and be thankful you have the ability to learn and can move on. Be realistic and no self pity.

2) Do not look for reasons TO call him. There are reasons you called him a bum. Remember those reasons. Stay Busy - Keep your mind occupied. Read, write, go for walks and get fresh air. Spend time with trusted friends. Try not to spend alot of time alone, especially at night. That is when loneliness sets in.

Good Luck in whatever path you choose.....

1)exercise being with your friends always helps alot

2)cause you deserve better.

TimTams are the most awesome chocolate biscuit ever made!

Arnott's TimTam [/font][/font]

[span class="edited"][Edited by ~ Sin ~ 2004-08-02 01:29][/span]

1. I would (if ever in that situation) have to say tea or tuna sandwiches. Both of which I normally don't like so much, but for some reason they're good comfort foods for me. (But I would never have tea and tuna sandwiches at the same time... ick)

2. You've broken up. It's over. Just don't call him because that will bring back all the bad stuff that is why you broke up. And realise that you probably aren't going to get anything good out of it.

><>

A)Chocolate

B) Because you deserve better.

You've come a long way Babe and it's good on ya!...