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If you do have to use credit cards and the like online, and this is partialy what they are concerned about, contact your bank regarding a debit card. It is sort of like the lovechild of a keycard and a credit card. you can only spend what money you have in the account, but it works like a credit card

NOOOO - Dont' use a debit card online. If someone make sa fraudulent transaction against your credit card, your bank will freeze the card, stop all interest accumulating until they investigate, and will then refund you. If you use a debit card and get defrauded, the bank will freeze your main account whilst it investigates, and will then refund your money. You will have NO access to your main bank account whilst this process takes place, so no cash, no card etc!! You will also lose REAL MONEY from your account, rather than the bank's money on your credit card. A creditc ard also has more buyer protection than a debit card.

As for the parents thing, well with all the media hype about "weirdos" on the internet, I guess it's understandable. My parents have been worried the couple of times I've met internet people, but that was a bit different as we were all kiters who used the internet to arrange big fly-ins, rather than randoms. Once I explained that, they were OK with it.



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I like to think that whoever designed marine life was thinking of it as basically an entertainment medium. That would explain some of the things down there, some of the unearthly biological contraptions

All right, I appreciate everyone's replies. I agree in that parents can be overprotective, and I also agree in that it is their job to be that way. Mine are starting to loosen up now, as I've talked with them some. Anything that is new scares them, until they get used to it.

Anyways, thanks again. I am grateful for all of the effort you all put in posting on this thread, and for helping me out.

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And when he gets to Heaven, to Saint Peter he will tell: "One more Marine reporting, Sir! I've served my time in Hell."

Books...

There are alot worse places on the internet that you could be spending your time than here at FishProfiles BUT.. I would bet your parents sense of "community" is alive and well. I would bet they just don't feel that revolving a large portion of your free time around an "online community" is the right way to go and they are right.

Your parents are always going to be leery of outside influences in your life. That is natural and that is part of their job. They would tell you it is their responsibility. It takes being a parent to understand parenting. What seems to you like parents being overly strict could be parents who just want to protect you. You can't fault them for that. There are far too many parents in the world today that use a computer/television as a "babysitter" for their children. I would bet your parents want you to have a great time in your youth. They just want it to be well-rounded.

Most folks out in the real world are friendly, especially when you get to know them. Mean people and "weirdos" are in the minority.

This may be true but mean people and weirdo's don't come with a stamp on their foreheads telling you who they are.
The amount of time you spend being sincere with the online friends you have made, they dedicate to finding ways to trick people.

Hopefully I can put their fears to rest

Unfortunately, I would bet this is never going to happen. Parents worry about their children no matter what age the child is or how well the child conveys their ability to "take care of themselves". Normally the child just reaches an age where the parent realizes that they have to be silent about their concerns.

Give your parents a break and give them the benefit of the doubt on this one that they may be somewhat right. also, give them both a hug and thank them for caring. You are one lucky young man.

As a grandparent and a teacher, I appreciate the way Adam and the moderators monitor this community. I have tried another one in the past and was totally turned off by the sexual content and connotations in the avatars, nicknames, and posts. Stay out of chat for a while, invite your parents to sit with you and read messages.

As far as I am concerned it is better to have parents who are very proactive these days than ones that don't care. (seen a lot of those in my job)

I don't agree with dave.

But you should stay out of chat.

I don't play video games, and I don't watch t.v. often.

Listen to Dave.

-- Gomer

Thank you all for your replies, I certainly didn't think I'd get so many!

Tommy is partly right here. They do want to limit the time I spend on the computer, to about an hour a day. I don't really have too much of a problem with that, even though I don't play video games, and I don't watch t.v. often. Seems like they're being overly strict, but there's an explanation. I just moved in with them three months ago (long story), and they are letting me build up trust. My first quarter grades are just coming out, I'm just starting to make friends and hang out with them, etc. My folks will eventually loosen up, and this will just take time.

I try to involve them with my tank and fish stuff, and they will talk about it and help me to a certain extent. They seem to enjoy it, though they don't have too much to contribute.

The whole "weirdo" thing boils down to my parents not really getting the 'community' concept. They have an inherent distrust of anyone that they (or I) meet over the Web. I don't really know how to show them the friendliness and community spirit here, except to sit them down and let them see for themselves, as most of you have suggested. I'll try to show my parents that even though I can't actually see you guys, and meet you face to face (maybe), you are still people. Most folks out in the real world are friendly, especially when you get to know them. Mean people and "weirdos" are in the minority. Unfortunately, the media has sensationalized every incident dealing with this minority, making them seem like the majority. I guess that is one reason why my folks are kind of edgy about me corresponding online with people they don't know. Hopefully I can put their fears to rest.

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And when he gets to Heaven, to Saint Peter he will tell: "One more Marine reporting, Sir! I've served my time in Hell."

I can sympathize Nick. I haven't been kicked off only chat in particular...but I have been kicked off FP by my parents as most of you guys know. Can't really make a suggestion other than what's been said, let them on the site as well, and hope they realize it's an innocent place. *crosses fingers* Good Luck.

-Formerly known as the Ferretfish

There are "weirdos" everywhere, on the internet, in the city you live on, maybe in your next door house, you just don`t know.

It is all up to your parents to trust you. My parents trust me to not mess about on the internet, not to download pornographic material, not to give out details to strangers etc etc. I have proved to them that I can be trusted and therefore am allowed on here, it is up to you to prove to your parents that you can be trusted, and vice versa, they can trust them (think that makes sense lol).

Maybe let your mother or father go on your username and browse the site, make some topics that are relevant or just do whatever they wish on your account.

I personally thought you was an adult, didn`t think you was a, as adults say, "kid".

I wonder how old everyone thinks I am?

As being one of the elder members (age) I have read many of your postings and you certainly come across as a very mature person.

I also fall into this catogary and totaly agree with Keith's assesment of you.

" Puts on very large parent hat"

Please understand this is my opinion only.
You have been a member of F.P. for, what 4 months now, look at your post count already the amount of time you dedicate to the site is tremendous. I spend a great amount of time on this board myself, so for you to read and respond,and help the mumber of lucky people who read your posts is incredable.
Now having said that it also must take up a lotttttt of your free time.
I am assuming that your parents are not concered as much about the chat monsters geting their boy, as they are at the amount of time you are dedicating to F.P.
With them not knowing the F.P. family I can fully understand how they feel.
You are, and I don't know you other than on the board, a very smart young man, and your parents maybe are starting to feel left out of your life.
So I can only guess that if, as other members have mentioned in the post responce, if you were to involve them into your fish life a little more it may make a differance to how they feel.
I am only guessing but I think it may be more of this line of thinking "get of that damn computer and join your family in other activities".
I don't usually get involved in personal issues like this, but just had to add my two cents.
Good luck Books.
Tom




Last edited by tommyc at 10-Nov-2004 12:19

Parrents are always hearing about the bad on the net (assuming here) your parrents don't use the net that often for personal things. Your parrents know that your are a fish keeper, I would bring them in with you and show them that if you don't like what someone is saying you have the mute option. Although you are one the top people here with info, there is always something more to learn show them how educational every part of this site can be. Parrents tend to like educational things, Icthology is a major in a few Universities here in the U.S. . So you can use that as support to the educational part.

Last edited by Jeremy at 10-Nov-2004 08:10

Ahh, now see i have a separate account with a separate bank for mine, never had that problem.

thanks for the heads up tho!

For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks. - Terry Pratchett

My folks have always been paranoid, but now they're taking things to a whole new level. They insist that there are "weirdos" out there who spend there whole lives scamming people, and that these "weirdos" would like nothing better than to rip off my cash. Right. Anyways, they're telling me that our chatroom might have weirdos in it, and so my parents are not letting me use it for the time being.

What gives? I'm a pretty smart guy, and I know enough to not give out information and/or money over the Internet. I would understand if my parents were a little worried, but this is taking things too far.

What do I do? Should I have my mom 'investigate' the site, and get her to spend a little bit of time amongst us? Do I argue eloquently that the chatroom is perfectly safe? Should I do both?

Needless to say, I'm not very happy about the whole affair. I will welcome any suggestions or opinions about how to deal with the mess, short of moving out on my own. Please help me deal with my parents, I want to avoid a confrontation.

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And when he gets to Heaven, to Saint Peter he will tell: "One more Marine reporting, Sir! I've served my time in Hell."

I agree with your parents. You should stay away.

I have weirdos come to my front door too

Weirdos everywhere, that's just life

I understand your parents being concerned...it's not you personally, worrying is part of being a parent.

I've met a number of online friends in real life, some from this site, some from others. I even met my husband online almost five years ago, and that was by chance, not a dating or personals site.

Common sense is the key, and you certainly don't seem to be lacking that. I definitely agree with having your parents visit the site...you probably already realize this, but any sort of sneaking around will only make matters worse.


Last edited by Theresa_M at 09-Nov-2004 09:54

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There is water at the bottom of the ocean

Books, i'd get them to spend some time here. If they want to discuss our site policies, give them my email and i'll be happy to reassure them and answer any questions they have on how things get dealt with. I know that my parents like actually interacting with a 'real' person rather than just reading the FAQs, so if they are like that, by all means.

I have spent time chatting with you and i can definately say not only are you polite and mature about the way you handle people and situations, you seem far too sensible to randomly give your bank details to people.

As a victim on E-crime, i do know that there are weirdos out there, but in all honesty, unless you are an utter turkey and give out your bank details for all to see, you are highly unlikely to become a victim using out delightfully coloured chat room

If you do have to use credit cards and the like online, and this is partialy what they are concerned about, contact your bank regarding a debit card. It is sort of like the lovechild of a keycard and a credit card. you can only spend what money you have in the account, but it works like a credit card. So, it follows that you can only steal what you have in the account (unlikely, but again, you do all you can to protect yourself these days) so i usually only have about $60 in mine, and my credit union has to alert me if anyone tries to overdraw it, so i can say "hold up, thats not me, dont pay it" and they can hunt down the thieves like the dogs that they are

I have weirdos come to my front door too... but well... i still have a front door.

I just lock it




For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks. - Terry Pratchett

Vic, it is their business. As a parent I monitor all my child's computer time. Sir, bring them onsite and let them see for themselves. We try to keep this a good, clean family site.

___________________________________________

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished.

Oh that would go down real well vic.
Thats the quickest way to make a parent do something drastic like disconnect the net altoghether.

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Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

i would tell them it is none of their business not to let you on here.

this is a fish website, not a website that sells stuff.

I cant believe your parents would think you are dumb enough to just give out your money online, or to acually buy into a scam.

are they online much?