FishProfiles.com Message Forums

Hey all,
I have a dilemma. My mother-in-law is a funny type of lady. Here's what she likes to do: Buy a very expensive puppy (last one was $800), decide it is your best companion and pal, then give it away cuz she cant handle it whining and peeing on the floor and training and such!
My dog, Muffin, was brought home to BC from Ont. with her almost 3 years ago. Despite myself and my boyfriend taking care of the pup and training her, she gave her to my boyfriends sister. This lasted 3 months, of which time the pup was primarily in a 4x4 foot laundry room by herself for 12 hours a day with no attention. (I didnt know until almost the end of this time). After which, the pup came back, and 2 months later when we moved out, we took her with us. She was sold to mom-in-law as a purebred show pomeranian- clearly she is a Chihuahua!
Second case: She buys a bichon-shih tzu cross pup for 800 bucks in a pet store (ugh i know!), and swears up and down he will be her life friend- 3 days later I call her to see how hes doin, she gave him again to the daughter. This lasted 5 months and now Buster lives with a nice elderly lady in Victoria.
NOW: She wants to buy a purebred pup, either a Pom or a Yorkie. 2 major issues: She cant stand a yappie dog, and she cant stand a dog that needs grooming, also, she is unwilling to train a dog beyond NO and Good dog. Her idea of potty training is turf the kid into the yard for an hour and hope it goes. How can I convince her that she doesnt need a puppy? She is grieving the loss of her 15 yr old Terrier, and wants a companion. She is disabled, so sometimes cannot get out of bed to let the dog out. I am trying to convince her a cat would be better for her, litter box trainable, easy to care for, pretty independent. She still is talking dog. She doesnt conside that the little kids in the house will abuse it (in their house kids come before dogs no matter what, even if the kid is kicking it, well dogs are things for kids to play with UGH UGH UGH) and she wants to get a tiny little frail dog! I tried to talk her into a 3 yr old Golden Retriever fully trained a friend had to part with recently, she wont have a big dog cuz "Big dogs are bad with kids!" Again UGH.
What do I do? I have tried to tell her all the bad things these breeds do to dissuade her, and she keeps gettin the idea. I dont want to see another poor pup start out life like this! Should I contact the breeder she has been talking to and inform her of this? What do Do????
Sorry for the huge essay, but wanted to get enough info out there. Shes not a bad person, just uninformed, strong willed and has good intentions with the wrong type of dogs- well dogs period. She has had 19 dogs in 25 years. One stayed with her for 15 years! Amazing. He was well behaved and big suck though.
Please any ideas would help.


Last edited by Lindy at 18-Feb-2005 02:51

Come Play Yahtzee With Me!
http://games.atari.com
Http://www.myleague.com/yahtgames

wow. your mother in law has some real issues going on there. maybe you could try to see if she'll let you train the dog first so that she doesn't have to bother? that way you'll at least know she's getting a dog that behaves and she'll have less reason to give it away later. that's about all i can think of if she's that adamant about getting a dog.

---

"That's the trouble with political jokes in this country... they get elected!" -- Dave Lippman

Maybe you need to be blunt with her? Sounds harsh maybe, but she has a bad track record with dogs and no animal deserves to be treated the way they seem to be with her. If that fails call the breeder and tell them all about it.

Good luck changing her mind.

---

Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Oh dear oh dear... this sounds so much like my mother it's uncanny... Except in my mother's case it was Dobermanns!

I'm sad to say that we've found no solution to my mother's bad dog-keeping habits. The last pair she got were a pair of min pins (look like Dobermanns gone through the wash on the hot water cycle). But uncontrollable little dogs are no better than uncontrollable big dogs. The neighbours keep threatening to shoot them, and they've killed some of the neighbours chickens and even ganged up on a working dog from a local farm.

Interestingly, when my Sis and her hubby went away on their honeymoon, Mum looked after their fish tank. It's about 15 US gallons (I think) and contained nothing but 8 zebra danios. It was uheated. When they came back Mum proudly anounced she'd bought them an otto. Of course I insisted she either take it back to the shop or buy a heater ... we had a big row about it. Then it turned out it's not an otto, it's a CAE! (I live several hours drive away and hadn't seen the fish at all.)

Despite all advice about how unsuitable a CAE is for such a small tank, Mum refused to return it. And now Sis can't add anything else to that tank because of the darn CAE who's likely to grow up to be very big and very grumpy. *sigh*

So the fish thing is kinda like the dog thing in miniature. And both issues have created enormous amounts of friction between Mum and anyone who tries to change her mind. Good luck Sneaky_Pete, and tread carefully!

Last edited by whetu at 18-Feb-2005 03:17

First rule of thumb...

Let the spouse handle situations where "in-laws" are concerned. You can't win.....

What about having your spouse show Mom a few doggy rescue websites on the internet? You may even find one that has the same kind of terrier she lost. Maybe that will tug at her heart strings and get her to take a pooch that is in desperate need of loving care. It may even make her a bit more protective of the doggy where the kids are concerned. There is also a good chance that the dog has been already trained not to potty in the house.

Good Luck!!!

Last edited by Tammy at 18-Feb-2005 07:14

If there are puppy training sessions/classes somewhere in her area you could pay for them for her, but only if she still insists after everything else.

Last edited by superlion at 18-Feb-2005 08:47

><>

The best way I can think of to convinve someone NOT to get a dog would be to lend them mine for about 2 weeks!! He is a very hyper, very large husky shepard mix with some real obedience issues...

Heck, if after putting up with him for that long they still thought that a dog would be a good idea and were willing to do the work for one, I'd let them have him for keeps!!

Seriously though, I agree that a rescue organization or the local Humane Society can be the best place to find dogs that are already house broken and usually reasonably well behaved (although some come with issues indeed). Since she seems to think she knows what kind of dog she would like best, you can always let all the local places know what kind of dog you are looking for- they could then call and let you know if the kind you want comes in!!

Good luck.
Lisa

bring her home a big rangy mastif shell never want a nother dog ever again
i love them but not to many ppl want a puppy that grows into a huge hungry drueling sobbering love hound that weighs 150lbs n breaks n eats everything n the kids could ride it lol

if she wants a loyal dog convince her into getting a golden retriver or a grey hound pre trained many greyhounds r sold cheap after there racing carreer is over n they r gentle kind n loyal dogs

or a beagle there amazing
i have 5

I already gave her links to sites about choosing the best dog for you, and she does the little quiz and tells me that APPARENTLY she keeps getting back Yorkie and Poms as winners. I dont believe it. My boyfriend has tried to talk to her about it, like last time when she bought the bichon X and she wont listen. And as for picking a dog like the last one, well she let the kids harrass that one too. I mean seriously, like the older grandchild, shes a great kid, but her mommy and grandmommy have made her believe dogs are toys for her amusement, and she kicked the last one down a set of 50 stairs! Lucky the little guy didnt break any bones! I dont doubt if it was a yorkie or something that it would have been dead or seriously injured. And they dont reprimand the children about it. I told them most breeders and trainers say you need to train your children before you train your dog, and you wouldnt even believe what kind of hell I took for saying that!! "Kids come first, dogs are last in importance" "A Dog is just a THING you own, it doesnt have a mind or emotions or needs, it just needs food and water and nothing more" this kind of stuff. I forgot to mention mom-in-law lives downstairs in a suite from the grandkids who live upstairs. She wont get a bigger dog cuz "bigger dogs are bad with kids and will hurt the baby". She wont get a greyhound cuz "they look starved and disgusting". I tried to convince her to get a Norfolk Terrier or something hardy and tough like that, but she "doesnt like its look". All she wants is a little priss dog she could beautify, but she wont, she will shave a yorkie bald so she doesnt have to groom it!
I dont know what to do. I think I will call the local breeders and inform them in advance of her.
She will tell them the kids wont be around the dog, but thats a lie, they are there every day for several hours.
She still worrys about my chihuahua with the baby! I said "whats she gonna do, lick him to death?" M-I-L "No she will bite him! She has a history of biting" I said "no she bit someone because they locked her in a 4x4 foor room with no socialization and having to sleep in her own waste. I would have bit him too" . I dont believe it, she has never shown aggression to anyone. Its all lies made up to justify getting rid of the dog. In Busters case it was that he peed on the floor - well if you dont housetrain them, they pee on the floor.



Come Play Yahtzee With Me!
http://games.atari.com
Http://www.myleague.com/yahtgames

For your sake Sneaky_Pete and for the "good of the family" I think I wouldn't go calling people and warning them of your Mother-in-law. It will end up getting back to her that you have done this eventually. She won't be happy about it and you could pay a heavy price.

She wants a dog and I couldn't agree with you more that maybe it isn't in the best interest of any dog to be in her care but you are entering dangerous territory. Your spouse or boyfriend or whatever he is is the one that *needs* to handle this one.

All you can do is be a voice of reason and attempt to guide her. You can't force the situation or control it.

I understand what you are feeling though.

I'll say a little prayer for you and the dog..

The only problem is she listens more to me than to him.
Seriously!
She has a big issue with listening to women over men.
*scratches head*


Come Play Yahtzee With Me!
http://games.atari.com
Http://www.myleague.com/yahtgames

Get her a cat. Its the perfect excuse not to get a dog, and she obviously cannot handle the fact that dogs require more than feeding. Cats, for the most part, are happy to be by themselves.

(personally i'd buy her a pet rock, and teach it defensive tactics in case she tried to throw it out, but i'm being realistic, she is going to get a something, it may as well be something that isn't dependant on her)

For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks. - Terry Pratchett

Jeez. If that sort of stuff happens again, call the humane society or even the police. It's really serious, especially when kids are abusing animals, because it often leads to other forums of abuse later in life.

You could ask her if she would allow that with that dog she had that she did like...

><>

yeah she did allow it


Come Play Yahtzee With Me!
http://games.atari.com
Http://www.myleague.com/yahtgames