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wow trys... taht must have taken a lot of courage to tell. glad to hear your doing better though. must have been a very hard time indeed to recover from that kind of abuse. *joins babel and Lindy* no tis nto jsut for the tim tams

Sorry it took me so long to get back, I've had a rough few days. It's the nasty side effects that Cory Addict mentioned. . . luckily they should only last for a few more months but I'm sick of it. Tired but I can't sleep, way too hot and sweaty all the time, shakey, can't eat, stomach upset, losing 4 lbs a week. Pain in the butt medication but it works at least. That's enough ranting out of me I think. I'm going on some strong B12 and other vitamin supplements so I'm hoping that will help with it.

Anyway. . . Thanks everyone for your kindness and support.

EDIT: *goes off to find some tim tams*

[span class="edited"][Edited by trystianity 2004-07-23 04:26][/span]

You went through alot and you're doing your very best to get better. This shows how courageous you are.
You're almost there !

The Amazon Nut...

Congrats Tryst

glad to hear that you are doing better.

*gives fake tim-tams* (i don't know what they are so.... yeah)

WOW!! If you can put all that in writing and share it with people than I'd say you're really making great progress. YAY TRYS!!!!

Congratulations a ton tryst! That is awesome that you're doing better and I'm thrilled to hear it!

And I can still take your b/f, so no worries

PM/email/msg me if you have any questions/comments regarding me or my knowledge or if you want me to read a thread.

*huggs*

I'm proud of you girl I doubt most of us have any concept of what you have been through, but i know this board is full of people with many and varied problems, so support is something you aren't lacking here

We are all here for you!

Stay strong and sleep deep

Ab xx

For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks. - Terry Pratchett

I smiled all the way through the second half of your post

Way to go!! And I don't know the story of your bf.. but if at any time he makes you feel bad.. you know what to do

Try, a huge hug from me. You have a strong heart and mind girl, they will make sure you get to where you want to be.
[font color="#800080"]
p.l.u.r [/font]
Matt



Cake > Pie

This Post Was Previously Approved by Super Lindy

Ok so for all of you who don't know me very well I have some explaining to do. I'm an incest survivor and haven't been well for the past few months. Back in March/April I was diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder, panic disorder, agoraphobia and dysthemic disorder with a major depressive episode. I was having a really hard time, having a lot of migraines and panic attacks and was not well at all. So I saw a psychiatrist and was put on medication and taken out of work until next summer. My doctor decided that I'm unable to work and was worried that I might become really sick if I continued so I've been out ever since. According to him, I came really close to the point where I would've needed supervision in a hospital before I looked for help, but that's the way it usually goes with these things.

About a year ago I started having a feeling like something just wasn't right. I was having trouble concentrating and school wasn't going well and everything seemed to stress me out. I started getting flashbacks and uncovered some memories of my father abusing me. The flashbacks have been coming steadily since then but I denied that most of it happened until I started actively working on healing from it. Since I've been working on it, I've uncovered more of the abuse, which is hard to deal with but feels better once it's out. It turns out I was sexually abused from the age of about 2 until I was 12, based on the memories I've been uncovering. It's a natural response to the abuse, called dissociative amnesia. Your mind blocks all of it out as a survival mechanism so you can continue to live your life. Part of healing from it is reincorporating that part of your past so you can move on. It's hard work, but definitely worth it.

So since I've been out of work I've been adjusting to the medication I'm on to help me with the depression and anxiety while I work on my therapy. I'm on Effexor XR, which is a bit of a pain to get used to but really helps with the stuff it's supposed to. The side effects are pretty annoying, like insomnia/sleepiness, weight loss and stomach problems for me but it's worth the amount that it helps. I don't have as many nightmares any more and the panic attacks are much better than they were.

Really I just wanted to make this post because I'm doing a lot better and wanted to share. Sometimes it seems like a lot to deal with, healing from childhood incest, and I feel like I'd rather just put it all back where it was covered up but I'm really turning into the person I'm supposed to be and starting to feel alive again. I haven't felt like I was truly alive for as long as I can remember and it's the greatest feeling in the world. I remember feeling so numb to everything, like a walking corpse. It feels so good to have a real sense of touch and real emotions. I'm really excited.

I've been working on so much, like getting past the denial, and identifying with the little girl that experienced the incest. I forgot all of it for until just last year so it almost feels like it wasn't me that went through it. The more I work, the more I can remember which is really really really hard on me sometimes but I just keep my eye on the prize. I know that if I wasn't doing this it would just consume me and I feel like I almost died. I'm getting my life back and it feels great. I'm going to university in September to study chemistry and applied math. My psychiatrist said that going to school is ok but no work for me yet.

I've been able to get out in public every day for at least 15 minutes which is really good for me. I make sure I pay attention to how I'm feeling so I can anticipate any panic attacks and take a breather if I need to. The therapy and medication really drain my energy so I don't have a whole lot of it most of the time and end up being really tired but I do what I can. I really needed to take the time off and just deal with it head on. It's intense but I'm doing really well. My therapist says I'm the best patient he's ever had and am making a really good recovery. He says I'm like a whole new person from the first day I came into his office and that it's really impressive. He told me that he was tempted to put me in a hospital for a few weeks when he first saw me but now he's got no worries. It feels better to me, knowing that I've come this far on my own, in my own home.

I just wanted to share my success with everyone. I'm not even close to the end yet but I'm doing really well.

Yay me!

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[span class="edited"][Edited by trystianity 2004-07-18 03:21][/span]

-gives many hugs and hands her a big chocolate trophy-

Thanks guys

And I've never had tim tams but they sound really really yummy! I can just imagine, babel and super lindy at the door with ryan and tim tams to the rescue!

Yay Tryst! I'm very pleased things are improving for you.
Stick with it mate.

*grabs timtams and joins babel on the trail to Tryst's house*

Lindy

---

Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

thats the way trystkeep it up

--------------------------
Billy was a scientist, Billy is no more. For what he thought was H20, was H2SO4

It's great to hear that you are getting better!

I (used to) suffer from severe anxiety, but I have found that Lexapro has worked wonders on it. My anxiety was so bad I would literally go days without eating, and I couldn't concentrate at all in school (which subsequently led to me getting bad grades). It was horrible, and I didn't want to take any more medicine for it, because nothing had helped before.

But Lexapro has greatly improved my life. I haven't had a panic attack in months, and I was getting straight A's in school (well, there was one B+). I did take Effexor for a while (for my depression), but the side effects were just too much for me to bear.

---

I'm not your neighbor, you Bakersfield trash.

of course, i have no idea how it feels, but i'm sure it must feel better to get it off your Chest doesn't it?

good luck in University, and keep it up i'm Glad you're getting better Tryst





www.zopilotemachine.com

tryst,
girl good for you !!!!
I'm sooo glad you've been doing better, and if that bf of yours doesn't appreaciate you or get himself in shape I'll be right up to beat him up for you ...that's alot to have gone thru, you don't need any more .

^_^