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Subscribeside splitting chat humor
gartenzwerfe
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Big Fish
Mrs. Racso To Be
Posts: 375
Kudos: 628
Votes: 199
Registered: 20-Mar-2004
female usa
At around 3:30 AM we somehow got on the topic of stupid US laws. We were all rolling!!!

http://www.legal-forms-kit.com/legal-jokes/dumb-laws.html Warning: There are some laws that state things that are not site appropriate. I won't post them.

For Dani, Jorge, Stormy and Marc:
~It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
~It is illegal to get a fish intoxicated.
~The Ohio driver's education manual states that you must honk the horn whenever you pass another car.
~It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house.
~Owners of tigers must notify authorities within one hour if the tiger escapes.
~No one may be arrested on Sunday or on the Fourth of July.
~It's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.
~You cannot eat a doughnut and walk backwards on a city street.
~It is against the law to roller skate without notifying the police.
~A policeman may bite a dog to quiet him.
~Throwing a snake at anyone is illegal.
~Riding on the roof of a taxi cab is not allowed.
~You may not run out of gas.

For Liana and Tim:
~It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
~The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
~A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.
~While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.
~Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.M.
~During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks.
~You may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand

For Babel:
~It's illegal to take a lion to the movies.
~You may not curse inside the city limits.
~You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish.
~Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.

For Jason:
~No one may catch a fish with his bare hands.
~You are not allowed to carry a cocktail from the bar to a table. The waiter or waitress has to do it.
~Drinks on the house are illegal.
~Within four hours of eating garlic, a person may not enter a movie house, theater, or ride a public streetcar.
~It is illegal for barbers to threaten to cut off kid's ears.

For Janna:
~It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
~No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.
~Many animals are illegal to own as pets, including snails, sloths, and elephants.
~Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
~It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent.
~It is illegal to cry on the witness stand.
~It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.
~One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock.
~Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street.
~It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner.

For Shannen and Gary:
~If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
~You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.
~It is considered an offense to shower naked.
~You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.

For Billy:
~When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.
~You can be legally married by publicly introducing a person as your husband or wife 3 times.
~It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.
~It is illegal to milk another person's cow.

Other favorites:
~It's illegal to fish in the Ohio River in Kentucky without an Indiana Fishing License KY
~Hunting camels is prohibited. AZ
~Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds. ID
~Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields. NC
~You may not sing in the bathtub. PA
~It is considered an offense to throw pickle juice on a trolley. RI

*lobs pickle juice ice cubes*



><>Dani<><


Last edited by gartenzwerfe at 02-Feb-2005 03:06
Post InfoPosted 26-Jan-2006 11:34Profile Homepage AIM Yahoo PM Edit Report 
whetu
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Mega Fish
Posts: 900
Votes: 63
Registered: 31-Jan-2003
female newzealand
*falls about laughing*

That confirms all my worst fears about the US!
Post InfoPosted 26-Jan-2006 11:34Profile MSN PM Edit Delete Report 
Gomer
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Ultimate Fish Guru
Small Fry with BBQ Sauce
Posts: 3602
Kudos: 1709
Votes: 106
Registered: 29-Mar-2002
male australia au-newsouthwales
Come on. These aren't real are they?

-- Gomer
Post InfoPosted 26-Jan-2006 11:34Profile MSN PM Edit Delete Report 
Lindy
 
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Administrator
Show me the Shishies!
Posts: 1507
Kudos: 1350
Votes: 730
Registered: 25-Apr-2001
female australia au-victoria
The only Aussie ones I could find that I could print here :

Victoria
It is illegal to walk on the right hand side of a footpath.
Taxi cabs are required to carry a bale of hay in the trunk.
Bars are required to stable, water and feed the horses of their patrons.
It is illegal to roam the streets wearing black clothes, felt shoes and black shoe polish on your face as these items are the tools of a cat burgular.
You may never leave your car keys in an unattended vehicle.


Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Post InfoPosted 26-Jan-2006 11:34Profile PM Edit Delete Report 
superlion
 
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Mega Fish
Posts: 1246
Kudos: 673
Votes: 339
Registered: 27-Sep-2003
female usa
Does this mean I can't go to the movies?

><>
Post InfoPosted 26-Jan-2006 11:34Profile Homepage PM Edit Delete Report 
AngelZoo
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Fish Addict
Posts: 771
Kudos: 501
Votes: 1
Registered: 16-Dec-2003
female usa
I've read a lot of these before, but I never get tired of them. Stupid, Stupid laws.

~While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.

That one is actually a law everywher in America.
Post InfoPosted 26-Jan-2006 11:34Profile AIM PM Edit Delete Report 
moondog
 
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Moderator
The Hobnob-lin
Posts: 2676
Kudos: 1038
Votes: 4366
Registered: 30-Sep-2002
male usa
gomer, what happens is that some states will pass some crazy law, everyone forgets why it was passed, and then some years down the road the law is still on the books. i am glad to see that one of my favorite stupid laws (about carrying an ice cream cone in your pocket) is still out there



"That's the trouble with political jokes in this country... they get elected!" -- Dave Lippman
Post InfoPosted 26-Jan-2006 11:34Profile PM Edit Delete Report 
Callatya
 
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Moderator
The girl's got crabs!
Posts: 9662
Kudos: 5261
Registered: 16-Sep-2001
female australia au-newsouthwales
OMG Lindy! I tried getting my horse fed and watered at McDonalds once, i should have gone to the pub!

The taxi thing MUST be leftover from the corse and cart days can you imagine our 'silver service' cabbies sayong, oh, terribly sorry, i cant fit your bags because of the haybale in the back!!!???

For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks. - Terry Pratchett

Post InfoPosted 26-Jan-2006 11:34Profile PM Edit Delete Report 
terranova
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Fish Master
Posts: 1984
Kudos: 1889
Votes: 229
Registered: 09-Jul-2003
female usa
&lt;&lt;---REALLLY neeeded that at the moment

ROFL



-Formerly known as the Ferretfish
Post InfoPosted 26-Jan-2006 11:34Profile Yahoo PM Edit Delete Report 
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