FishProfiles.com Message Forums

I couldnt think of where else to go for some good sound grounded advice so I am here.

I quit my cosy li'l job almost a year ago and took up something that is not fun at all, is not in line with my career goals but will allow me to go to college.

So here is my schedule for the day:

Wake up 7:30 am, bathe, dress up etc. mostly no breakfast.
8:15 am rush to work.
9:30 am (if I am lucky) I will reach work.
6 pm leave from work, rush to college.
6:30 pm grab a small snack, rush to class.
10 pm leave for home.
11 pm (if I am lucky otherwise 11:30 pm) reach home, no dinner sleep.

I get some lunch at work, so on most days it's pretty much all I eat and I am piling on weight by the kilos.

To make matters worse, my husband's schedule is the exact opposite, he works nights, and his shift begings at 10 pm on college days, so we never see each other except for weekends.

Hubby has finally got 2 job offers (crosses fingers, both yet to finalise). One of them is about 1/2 hr from home, and he will be working a late afternoon/evening shift.

I can get my old job back or look for a new job in a similar shift and it wld be 5 mins walking distance from where hubby wld get his job.

This would however mean quitting our master's program or at least taking a break because we would no longer be able to attend evening classes. We dont really need the master's degree since we both draw excellent salaries and are in good jobs, but wanted to get one anyway. If we want to finish the master's program, it would mean sticking to this plan for another 2.5 years and both our jobs arent what we want right now, though they do pay really well. We should be able to get more money if we switch jobs.

HELP!!!! I need to choose between having a good personal life or higher education, we are both graduates.

I say go fo the good personal life. if you already have a degree and you don't really NEED your masters....you don't want your marriage to fall apart from neglect. That schedule sounds very tiring and stressful. Maybe another opportunity will come up where you can quit work alltogether to to do Master's. Also, if you want children (sorry if I presume too much or am getting too personal)it's kind of hard to accomplish with that kind of schedule...if you catch my drift.

They don't call it "rat race" for nothing. Having just come off of a seperation & divorce I now realize how easy it is to take a marriage for granted. JMO.

---

~~Melissa~~
"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."

I believe I would go for the good personal life. In your case, what good is a higher education if you end up unhappy in your personal life?

Maybe you didn't come on here asking for opinions as much as wanting confirmation for what you already felt you wanted to do?

If you stick to that hellish schedule you are going to end up sick and unable to work or study.
You said you can get your old job back.... is that the one that you were very unhappy in?

---

Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Sounds like you already made the right choice but are looking for confirmation from someone to take action. Have you discussed this with your husband? We are just strangers thousands of miles away. Though we are more than willing to help our on-line friends it is important to discuss this with the husband. Crazyred has a point. It is so, so easy to take a marriage for granted. I have spent a great deal of time away from my wife during my prior occupation; we are talking years. You do not want to get to that point where you suddenly realize A: you dont know your spouse anymore. or B: He or she does not like the person you have become. We all are changing constantly through out our lives. During extended periods of absence from our spouses we are still changing. My point is, don't change without your spouse. You need that time together. Oh, and life is too short to spend it in a class room all your life, forget the masters until you are sure that is what you want and your marriage is more solid. This is assuming you are young and fairly recently married. Thats my 2 cents. Hope I helped!

"Talk is cheap. Action can be almost as affordable"

I'm at work by 6:15 am and don't get home until 4:30-5:00pm. Allthough I like my job. My wife and I both have long days and we are raising a teenager. Nothing worth having is easy to get. Once you figure out what you want, you just got to go for it. Do what makes you happy, thats my 2 cents worth. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

HELP
The way you are going that is exactly what you will want not from members of FP but a several medical practioners

The stress you have stated to create will not get any better in fact it will increase.

Skipping meals and not eating the correct foods will not give your body fuel for the day.

I get some lunch at work, so on most days it's pretty much all I eat and I am piling on weight by the kilos.

These are your words not mine "Piling of the Kgs" will also give you more health problems eg the more KGs means less energy, and many other health concerns. Possibly because of the snacking and eating the wrong foods, lack of exercise and certainly not enough good quality sleep.

You also mention your personal life that is certainly not the best way to establish a good relationship. You also have to maintain a home and all that goes with that more concerns.

I did similar what you are doing for four years two days per week but I made sure I ate correct meals. Totally I was at work and Uni 13 hrs a day. This also included driving across heavy trafic 75klm each way.

I finally finished totally washed out and wondering was it all worth it as I retired when I finished my Masters.

Keith

Near enough is not good enough, therefore good enough is not near enough, and only your best will do.
I VOTE DO YOU if not WHY NOT?
VOTE NOW VOTE NOW

is that the one that you were very unhappy in?

I'm with Lindy, you really didn't seem happy or content there at all and the boss was not very nice at all, I'm not sure if that is the answer to your problem

But you can't keep that up for another 2.5 years, you'll fizzle!

For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks. - Terry Pratchett

Yup, that's the unhappy job, but the boss has moved and the company was always good to me, so it's an opportunity to go back I can prolly take. I am sceptical about how things will be right now, but it would mean not driving around for 70 kms a day, 3 hours less on the road, and hubby and I can have dinner together because he will be working in the next building.

I am trying to weigh all the pros and cons of this decision. I know I wont last 2.5 years this way, so yes, need some reassurance because I feel guilty about abandoning my studies. It's not something we do often in India because education is so difficult to come by and not everybody can afford it

I have discussed this with my husband and the views are pretty much ours, and yes we want to start a family but that seems impossible.

On the other hand, we did talk about it over the weekend and saw no harm in finishing one more semester. He's not sure he wants to continue because he is not going to pass the first semester, but I am, so with just me going to college, I believe the situation's going to be twice as stressful

We are still waiting for him to get an offer which is expected to come in today before we decide wat our next step is going to be. I do want the Masters, it would be a nice to have degree that might pay off in another 2 years if there really happens to be a job that needs that kind of qualifcation..

But it sounds like you can get a good job without it. I dont think I could sacrifice my personal life for study, not to the extent you are thinking about. I know qualifications are important but so are you, your health and your relationship.

---

Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Update: Hubby took up the job that's about 1.5 hours from home, so nothing really changes. The only option now is to move closer to his work place. He's going to be giving up on his Masters so he can work in this new place. I have about a week to make my decision

This is harder than I thought.